Relationships are supposed to give you happiness and make you a better person. For women, they regard this as one of the most vital parts of their lives. But when your “happy ever after” turns into a nightmare, how do you escape the pain?
Fortunately, several domestic violence lawyers worldwide would be willing to offer their services to domestic violence (DV) victims.
If you’re currently in the same situation, here are a couple of suggestions that could help you seek out help:
You must identify the triggers of your abuser, such as when they’re about to explode, as this would help you avoid being hit. This is crucial, especially if, most of the time, you’re alone with your abuser.
Without any witnesses, abusers tend to get violent because of minor things, like eating a bit louder than they’ll like you or wearing an outfit that hugs your curves.
Of course, nothing’s wrong with doing these things. However, abusers casually mirror their insecurities against their victims through gaslighting or guilt-tripping.
As a result, you would have to be vigilant throughout the day and de-escalate the situation when you sense that trouble is brewing.
Ensure your safety
Unfortunately, it’s not easy to escape from the grasp of your abuser and call for help. In general, DV victims have to guarantee their safety by finding safe locations within the house.
If you think that your abuser would start a fight as soon as you get home, bear in mind to avoid going into enclosed spaces such as your room since you wouldn’t have a likely exit.
Hiding in the bathroom or a closet might work, but given that women are physically weaker, you don’t have the upper hand in the situation. The most likely scenario is that your abuser would be able to break down the door and become more violent towards you.
Ideally, you’d go into a room where you’ll be close to a window or somewhere with a phone, so you could call for help when things get worse.
Have a safe word
If you have talked to others regarding your situation privately, it’ll be best if you would let them know of any safe words.
This would inform your close friends, family, or neighbors that you’re in an unsafe situation to which they could respond by making excuses on your behalf or picking you up suddenly from your home.
In worst situations, this could also let them know that you need immediate medical attention or require police assistance. In the end, they’ll be the ones to call 911 to describe your current situation and allow the law enforcers to be dispatched to your location.
Create your plan
We know it could be scary, but you need to know that leaving is the right thing to do. So do yourself a favor and create an escape plan that you’ll share with trusted friends or family members.
This could be by ensuring that your car is fueled up and facing the doorway’s exit, along with leaving the car door unlocked so you could promptly leave the place when you see an opportunity.
Be sure to hide a spare key in an area that your abuser won’t notice and always keep cash in hand. Remember that you’ll need to hide for a while and feed yourself until you are fully safe.
Keep your phone’s contact list updated, and never let important documents be left with your abuser’s household as they could use this to manipulate you to come back.
Once you’re out of their control, be sure to contact the police to file a police report regarding the abuse. This would guarantee that you’ll be protected under the law and prevent your abuser from tracking you to ruin your life again.